Brian Trager was born in/around this date in 1992. I say that because no one is exactly sure of his real date of birth. And I'm not sure 'born' is really the correct term to be using...
Brian is the result of a freak human/mountain lion experiment that took place high up in the Catskill mountains. The scientist who created him immediately saw the error of his/her ways and cast Brian out into the wild. At the same time, my family and I were vacationing at a resort in the Catskills. Brian and my paths crossed on February 11, 1992 when Brian was crawling through the snow... and I accidentally ran over him with my snow tube. A bone-crushing hit like that would have killed any normal baby. It was Brian's mountain lion blood that saved his life. Realizing that he was clearly an outcast of society, and knowing that we were gonna take the footage of him getting run over by my snow tube and send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos, we decided to take Brian in as one of our own.
We did a pretty good job of raising him as a human and integrating him into society... but, every now and then, he slips back into his mountain lion ways and kills a deer, or some other defenseless animal, and just rips it to pieces. He's working on it though.
Happy Birthday bro.
lmao. I always thought something was fishy about him. And I always wondered why he was so much more polite than all the rest of your family. Overcompensation much?
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Brian!