Alex was born on this day in the year 1988. His mom, Polly G, was in the middle of repping out some power-squats when she went into labor. Not wanting to end her workout prematurely, she decided against rushing to the hospital. Instead, she merely reached inside herself, palmed Alex's head as if it was a regulation-size women's basketball, and forcefully ripped him out of the womb. She then proceeded to chastise him for interrupting her 'flow' and made him go outside and crawl 3 miles as a punishment before she would feed him. Alex believed this punishment to be total BS after what he had been through and, as a rebellious 'F You' to his mother, he walked the entire 3 miles balancing on his hands. Since that day his traps have been 5 times the normal size of others his age.
After completing his undergrad at Ithaca College with a double major in 'Video Game Studies' and 'The Art and Application of Binge Drinking in the Modern Era', Alex moved on to graduate school at the Pennsylvania State University where he hopes to earn an advanced degree in 'Boring Shit That Will Make You Rich'.
We wish him the best of luck in his endeavors and, of course, the happiest of birthdays.
Hear hear!!! I'll cheers to that.
ReplyDeleteThat pretty much sums up my life. Thanks for the birthday wishes and can't wait to do some video shots this weekend!
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