Friday, February 25, 2011

114. DELPO!!

Went to 2 of the quarterfinal matches of the Delray Beach International Tennis Tournament tonight with my Pops. Got to watch the former world #4, Juan Martin del Potro, hit the shit outa the ball like I've never seen...


Great seats. Great match. Pretty damn cool. Thanks Pops.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

111. Can a brotha get some CABLE?!?

Thanks for paying the cable bill Gramps...

110. 18 Tricks to Teach Your Body

Stumbled upon this...

 

Eating 10 hot dogs in 6 minutes and belching the national anthem may impress your friends, but neither of those feats will do much for your body—at least not much good.

Instead, why not train yourself to do something that may actually pay off?

We're not talking bench presses and interval training (though those do help). You can teach your body to cure itself from everyday health ailments—side stitches, first-date jitters, even hands that have fallen asleep.

Just study this list, and the next time your friends challenge you to an ice cream eating contest, chow down: You know how to thaw a brain freeze—and 17 other tricks that'll make everyone think you're the next David Blaine. But without all that "hold your breath for 17 minutes" mess.

 

Cure a Tickling Throat

When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based feat, especially if it serves as a health remedy. Take that tickle in your throat: It's not worth gagging over. Here's a better way to scratch your itch: Scratch your ear. "When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm," says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose, and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. "This spasm relieves the tickle."

 

Experience Supersonic Hearing

If you're stuck chatting up a mumbler at a cocktail party, lean in with your right ear. It's better than your left at following the rapid rhythms of speech, according to researchers at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine. If, on the other hand, you're trying to identify that song playing softly in the elevator, turn your left ear toward the sound. The left ear is better at picking up music tones.

 

Overcome Your Most Primal Urge

Need to pee? No bathroom nearby? Fantasize about Jessica Simpson. Thinking about sex preoccupies your brain, so you won't feel as much discomfort, says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., chief of male reproductive medicine at the Baylor College of Medicine. For best results, try Simpson's "These Boots Are Made for Walking" video.

 

Feel No Pain

German researchers have discovered that coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick. According to Taras Usichenko, author of a study on the phenomenon, the trick causes a sudden, temporary rise in pressure in the chest and spinal canal, inhibiting the pain-conducting structures of the spinal cord.

 

Clear Your Stuffed Nose

Forget Sudafed. Here's an easier, quicker, and cheaper remedy to relieve sinus pressure: Alternate thrusting your tongue against the roof of your mouth, then pressing between your eyebrows with one finger. This causes the vomer bone, which runs through the nasal passages to the mouth, to rock back and forth, says Lisa DeStefano, D.O., an assistant professor at the Michigan State University college of osteopathic medicine. The motion loosens congestion; after 20 seconds, you'll feel your sinuses start to drain.

 

Fight Fire Without Water

Worried those wings will repeat on you tonight? Try this preventive remedy: "Sleep on your left side," says Anthony A. Starpoli, M.D., a New York City gastroenterologist and assistant professor of medicine at New York Medical College. Studies have shown that patients who sleep on their left sides are less likely to suffer from acid reflux. The esophagus and stomach connect at an angle. When you sleep on your right, the stomach is higher than the esophagus, allowing food and stomach acid to slide up your throat. When you're on your left, the stomach is lower than the esophagus, so gravity's in your favor.

 

Cure Your Toothache

Just rub ice on the back of your hand, on the V-shaped webbed area between your thumb and index finger. A Canadian study found that this technique reduces toothache pain by as much as 50 percent compared with using no ice. The nerve pathways at the base of that V stimulate an area of the brain that blocks pain signals from the face and hands.

 

Make Burns Disappear

When you accidentally singe your finger on the stove, clean the skin and apply light pressure with the finger pads of your unmarred hand. Ice will relieve your pain more quickly, Dr. DeStefano says, but since the natual method brings the burned skin back to a normal temperature, the skin is less likely to blister.

 

Stop the World from Spinning

One too many drinks left you dizzy? Ah, luckily there's a remedy. Put your hand on something stable. The part of your ear responsible for balancethe cupulafloats in a fluid of the same density as blood. "As alcohol dilutes blood in the cupula, the cupula becomes less dense and rises," says Dr. Schaffer. This confuses your brain. The tactile input from a stable object gives the brain a second opinion, and you feel more in balance. Because the nerves in the hand are so sensitive, this works better than the conventional foot-on-the-floor wisdom.

 

Unstitch Your Side

If you're like most people, when you run, you exhale as your right foot hits the ground. This puts downward pressure on your liver (which lives on your right side), which then tugs at the diaphragm and creates a side stitch, according to The Doctors Book of Home Remedies for Men. The fix: Exhale as your left foot strikes the ground.

 

Stanch Blood with One Finger

Pinching your nose and leaning back is a great way to stop a nosebleedif you don't mind choking on your own O positive. A more civil approach: Put some cotton on your upper gumsjust behind that small dent below your noseand press against it, hard. "Most bleeds come from the front of the septum, the cartilage wall that divides the nose," says Peter Desmarais, M.D., an ear, nose, and throat specialist at Entabeni Hospital, in Durban, South Africa. "Pressing here helps stop them."

 

Make Your Heart Stand Still

Trying to quell first-date jitters? Blow on your thumb. The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled through breathing, says Ben Abo, an emergency medical-services specialist at the University of Pittsburgh. It'll get your heart rate back to normal.

 

Thaw Your Brain

Too much Chipwich too fast will freeze the brains of lesser men. As for you, press your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth, covering as much as you can. "Since the nerves in the roof of your mouth get extremely cold, your body thinks your brain is freezing, too," says Abo. "In compensating, it overheats, causing an ice-cream headache." The more pressure you apply to the roof of your mouth, the faster your headache will subside.

 

Prevent Near-Sightedness

Poor distance vision is rarely caused by genetics, says Anne Barber, O.D., an optometrist in Tacoma, Washington. "It's usually caused by near-point stress." In other words, staring at your computer screen for too long. So flex your way to 20/20 vision. Every few hours during the day, close your eyes, tense your body, take a deep breath, and, after a few seconds, release your breath and muscles at the same time. Tightening and releasing muscles such as the biceps and glutes can trick involuntary muscleslike the eyesinto relaxing as well.

 

Wake the Dead

If your hand falls asleep while you're driving or sitting in an odd position, rock your head from side to side. It'll painlessly banish your pins and needles in less than a minute, says Dr. DeStefano. A tingly hand or arm is often the result of compression in the bundle of nerves in your neck; loosening your neck muscles releases the pressure. Compressed nerves lower in the body govern the feet, so don't let your sleeping dogs lie. Stand up and walk around.

 

Impress Your Friends

Next time you're at a party, try this trick: Have a person hold one arm straight out to the side, palm down, and instruct him to maintain this position. Then place two fingers on his wrist and push down. He'll resist. Now have him put one foot on a surface that's a half inch higher (a few magazines) and repeat. This time his arm will cave like the French. By misaligning his hips, you've offset his spine, says Rachel Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., co-owner of Results Fitness, in Santa Clarita, California. Your brain senses that the spine is vulnerable, so it shuts down the body's ability to resist.

 

Breathe Underwater

If you're dying to retrieve that quarter from the bottom of the pool, take several short breaths firstessentially, hyperventilate. When you're underwater, it's not a lack of oxygen that makes you desperate for a breath; it's the buildup of carbon dioxide, which makes your blood acidic, which signals your brain that somethin' ain't right. "When you hyperventilate, the influx of oxygen lowers blood acidity," says Jonathan Armbruster, Ph.D., an associate professor of biology at Auburn University. "This tricks your brain into thinking it has more oxygen." It'll buy you up to 10 seconds.

 

Read Minds

Your own! "If you're giving a speech the next day, review it before falling asleep," says Candi Heimgartner, an instructor of biological sciences at the University of Idaho. Since most memory consolidation happens during sleep, anything you read right before bed is more likely to be encoded as long-term memory.

Monday, February 21, 2011

109. Old People

My grandparents recently moved into an assisted/independent living facility... aka old people's home. Today was our first visit.


Love the decor...


No joke... this woman was on facebook.


Sign above the AUTOMATIC toilet in the bathroom...
must be old people humor.


View from the penthouse... my grandpa's room on the top floor


Sat down with the grandparents for a while. Grandpa's clearly been beating Grandma...
Look at that look on his face. That's a look that says, 'You best not get out of line woman... or you'll get the belt.'

Gotta love 'em.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

108. Cankles

My first sight upon exiting the airport in Florida...

SIDE VIEW!

107. In case of emergency...

When the flight attendant told me to make myself familiar with the emergency safety instructions before take-off, I did just that. This is what I found...



Today's flight will be approximately 4 1/2 seconds long at which point we will reach our destination on the other side of the control tower.



If you happen to look out the window at any point of the flight and don't recognize where we are...
...feel free to stick your head out and take a look around.



If you happen to look out your window and realize that there's... something on the wing... some... THING.. it is your responsibility to open up the emergency hatch, climb out there, and get it off.




If we do happen to experience an emergency situation during the flight, remain calm and follow these instructions...

Do NOT under ANY circumstances open the side hatch if we land in a body of water, a volcano, or a giant pile of razor blades and broken glass.



In the event of a water landing, life jackets are located underneath your seat. Warning: putting on the life vest is a very unpleasant experience. You will be very disgruntled.
1. Place life vest over heads with arms fully extended so as not to cause chafing.
2. After donning your vest an Irish jig might lighten the mood of those panicking around you.
3. Warning: life vests may cause you to fart spontaneously.
4. In the event of a spontaneous fart spin around quickly.
5. This will dissipate the foul aroma away from your body.
6. Depending on the pungency of the fart, others around you may or may not vomit on you.



In the event of an emergency landing on a hard surface...

If you are in a hurry to make an important business meeting, exit quickly to the right.
All others exit in a squigly leftward direction.



If a safe emergency landing is not possible and impending doom is a certainty... feel free to swivel your seat around, allowing you to watch as the other passengers perish behind you.

106. (drool)

I'd like to take a moment to admire Rihanna's outfit in the 'All of the Lights' video. Just gaze at it in all of its glory...


that is all.

105. Airport Chillin

Sitting at my gate in Newark airport right now on the first leg of my journey down to the Sunshine State. Thanks to the wonderful people at American Express i get 20 minutes of super slow internet access. yayyyy.

You know how they say get to the airport 2 hours before your flight? took me 20 minutes to go from the front door of the airport, through security, to my gate. And i know what you're thinking... why in the eff didn't i get felt up by some super hot tsa worker??? I'm a little bummed about that too. So now i have a solid hour and a half til my flight time.

At least I got this guy playing the ukulele for a little bit of mood music...

Saturday, February 19, 2011

104. Running On Empty

Met up with Tot and Bree for some dinner tonight. Nice little Cuban place in Morristown, NJ. Our waitress was pretty cute....... I would.

In other news... this is what I was staring at for 90% of the 30+ mile drive home after dinner.


Barely made it to a gas station by the hair on my chinny chin chin.

103. So much for a 'vacation'

This is literally where i'm heading tomorrow for a week...



A WISH not to die.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

102. Funny Videos



Wednesday, February 16, 2011

101. Em... at it again

New Eminem song...
 
Eminem ft. Just Blaze - Fly Away
 
p.s. Kanye just teamed up with Katy Perry on her song E.T. 
Wouldn't doubt it if they start playing it on the radio 3 times an hour. It's in the playlist over there ------------------->

Monday, February 14, 2011

100. Long Overdue








This very moment marks the 100th post to this, what I like to call, master collection of the digitally expressive arts......  or a blog if you want to be a dick about it.

To be brutally honest, when this blog first came around I definitely doubted its potential. It just didn't seem like it was star material and from the sheer look of it, I figured that it would never amount to anything. But this blog had something that couldn't be seen at a first glance... heart. It put in more hours on and off the screen than blogs with DOUBLE the natural talent. The blog was here early every morning, and stayed late every night, and not once have I ever heard it complain. Because of its hard work and dedication to its craft, it's become one of the best active blogs out there today and, if it continues on this path, could very well go down in the blog hall of fame.

Tonight, on reaching the accomplishment of 100 posts, I'd like to present the blog, Couldn't catch me NOT blogging... in this economy, with this Award for Excellence in the category of being the Shit.



Unfortunately, the blog couldn't be here tonight to accept the award because it is off doing research for its next post... but it did have this prepared statement:

"You don't know how much it means to me to be receiving this award. For me it represents a justification that all the work I put in was worth it and gives me reason to continue into the future. Of course I have to thank those people who read me regularly, those that tell me to put up another god damn post when I haven't done so in a while, and those that started me on this journey in the first place... you all know who you are. I'd like to thank the typewriter for being a true inspiration to me and really paving the way for all typed language to follow. Finally, I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about the starving children in--"

Looks like the blog has some sort of preachy political activist statement at the end there, sooo we'll just skip that part.

I've come to realize that the only way to truly celebrate anything in life is bye doing...

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSSHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!

So at this moment I'd like to ask you, the reader, to drop everything you're doing... no matter what you might be in the middle of or what time of day it is... and do a shot with me in honor of this blog.

Here's to the next 100 posts. CHEERS!



Thanks everyone for coming out. Make sure to tip your waiters and please drive home safe. Goodnight!

99. V-Day up in HURR

Happy V-Day to everyone out there. You can just tell it's going to be a good day today. I mean check the weather...


This week is gearing up to be ABSOLUTELY delightful...


I typed in Valentine's Day into Google and this is the first image that came up:


In other news... congrats to Thomas H. Lord for putting a down payment on a new (used) car this morning.

Wishing all his future travels to be well-heated and fuel efficient.

Also, I thought I'd bring back mashup-monday today. In honor of V-Day here's a Drake-Lion King mashup:

And while we're talking about Drake mashups... I found this last night. I know there's been several different mashups to this song but I thought this one was pretty chill:

Sunday, February 13, 2011

98. Skylar Grey... just COMIN IN

Skylar Grey is quickly making a name for herself in the rap music scene...


She helped write sections of both versions of "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna and is a featured guest on "I Need a Doctor" which she sang the chorus for Dr. Dre and Eminem.

Here is her original version of "Love the Way You Lie pt. II":



 She's featured on Lupe Fiasco's new single 'Words I Never Said' off his upcoming album, Lasers


She also co-wrote "Coming Home" with Jay-Z and J.Cole which is a single on the Last Train to Paris album by Diddy-Dirty Money, along with writing "Castle Walls" by T.I. and Christina Aguilera, which is a single on T.I.'s No Mercy album. Grey earned a Grammy nomination for Song of the Year for her writing contributions to "Love the Way You Lie".


If you go down to my previous post about the Grammy's you can see Skylar singing the chorus of 'I Need a Doctor' in the live performance by Eminem and Dr. Dre.

97. Grammy Fail... well, mostly

Eminem was nominated for 10 Grammys. He only won 2... that's a fail  in my book. On the bright-side Katy Perry didn't win a single Grammy....  SCORE.


My take on the 2011 Grammy Awards...

Awards
Notable Wins:
Best Rap Album: Recovery - Eminem

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance: Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance: Helter Skelter - Paul McCartney

Best Rap Solo Performance: Not Afraid - Eminem
(over: Drake, Ludacris, T.I., & Kanye West)

Best Comedy Album: Stark Raving Black - Lewis Black (gotta love him)
(over: Weapons of Self Destruction - Robin Williams)

Best Compilation Soundtrack Album for a Motion Picture etc: Crazy Heart.
(Just  watched this movie the other day and, even though I don't like 97% of  country music, the music in this movie was really good... as was the  movie itself)

Best Score Soundtrack Album for a Motion Picture etc: Toy Story 3





Complete Robberies:
Record of the Year: Need You Now - Lady Antibellum
(over:  Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft Rihanna, Nothing On You - B.o.B ft.  Bruno Mars, & Empire State of Mind - Jay Z ft. Alicia Keys)

Album of the Year: The Suburbs - Arcade Fire
(over: Recovery - Eminem)

Song of the Year: Need You Now - Lady Antibellum
(over: Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna)

Best New Pop Artist: Esperanza Spalding (who in the eff is this? I don't think anyone knows)
(over: Justin Bieber, Drake, & Mumford and Sons)

Best Rock Album: The Resistance - Muse
(over: Jeff Beck, Pearl Jam, Tom Petty, & Neil Young)




Inbetween: Wish Eminem had won both of these but I can't really list them as robberies cuz Empire State of Mind is a good song.
Best Rap Collaboration: Empire State of Mind - Jay Z ft. Alicia Keys
(over: Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna, & Nothing On You - B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars)

Best Rap Song: Empire State of Mind - Jay Z ft. Alicia Keys
(over: Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna, Not Afraid - Eminem, & Nothing On You - B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars)




Funny:
Best Regional Mexican Album: No  Nominees... "There were fewer than ten artists  entered into this  category, so per Academy rules The Recording Academy  will not be  announcing nominations or presenting a GRAMMY Award in this  category  this year." hahah SUCKS...




Performances
Notable Performances: 
Love the Way You Lie/I Need a Doctor - Eminem, Rihanna, Dr. Dre, & Skylar Grey. (Eminem was sick)



Aretha Franklin Tribute - Aguilera, McBride, Hudson, Adams, & Welsh... stellar.



Forget You - Cee Lo Green & Gweneth Paltro (didn't realize Gweneth was such a good singer)


Mick Jagger brought the house down


Grenade - Bruno Mars (crazy throw-back rendition. very good)





Not AS bad as I thought they'd be:
Katy Perry - Her voice didn't sound atrocious for once.

Lady  gaGA - You're never going to get a 'normal' performance from gaGA, but I  thought her performance was much more reserved than it usually is...  which made it much more enjoyable.



Terrible Performances:
Arcade Fire

Muse

Bob Dylan - Gotta love the guy but he sounded absolutely terrible. Might be time to hang it up.



Embarrassments:
John Mayer trying to look like Johnny Depp


 
B.o.B. trying to look like... the monopoly man?



Mark Anthony... drunk?


Cee Lo Green... first of all his costume was whack. Second of all it looked like he completely forgot an entire line of this own song. It's all in the vid up above.



"...and that's all I have to say about that." kbye

96. He's in the hunt...

The stars were out for this years Pebble Beach National Pro-Am:

Ray Romano

Oscar De La Hoya

Bill Belichick

Kurt Russel

Michael Bolton

Kevin Costner

Kenny G

Anthony Anderson was looking fresh to death

but no one brought the entertainment factor like the funny man himself... bill murray, who sported this Elmer Fudd hat during the third round yesterday after saying, 'I'm in the hunt!' on the opening tee.

Bill Murray actually had a couple crazy good shots and ended up winning the tournament today with his partner D.A. Points.