This month has absolutely sucked monkey butthole (i'm just gonna assume monkey buttholes are not pleasant). Seems like one thing after another is going wrong for me and is costing me more and more money. Here's a little breakdown of all the monies that have found their way out of my bank account this month...
Rent - $450
Utilities: $80
Food - $200
Gas - $200
Speeding Ticket - $400
Round Trip plane ticket to Florida - $830
Las Vegas: $370
Broken Sideview Mirror - $200?
Grand total (FINE I'll add this shit up for you... lazy bastards): $2730
I make less than $2000 per month... so thrilled.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
156. How to shop at Costco
If any of you have ever shopped at Costco (or any other bulk, 'club' establishment) you know how much of a hassle it can be. Here's my guide on how to get through it...
Parking
Right as you pull into the parking lot, stop your car. Recite a quick prayer...
Dear ye ol' gods of parking,
Please have mercy on my soul as I roam through your sacred pasture of pavement. Give us this day our daily parking space. Lead me not into the temptation to rear-end every car that's already claimed a spot with its blinker or to run over every cock-sucking, mother-fucking, bastard of a person who walks between the rows of cars on the way to their vehicle. Amen.
Now that that is taken care of, you may proceed. Drive at least 40mph around the 5mph speed limit parking lot. The amount of time you spend looking for a spot is inversely proportional to the speed at which you make your way through the lot. If your tires don't squeal as you round turns, you're not going fast enough.
Once you find a spot, grab one of the 2,000 shopping carts littering the parking lot and head towards the entrance.
The Pre-Game
Before you go in, you're gonna want to take some time to mentally prepare yourself for whats about to go down, cuz once you walk through those doors there's absolutely no turning back. It's just like riding a roller coaster... once the handle bars lock down and the wheels start moving, the words "Wait, I changed my mind" don't mean shit anymore.
Once your mental prep is complete, head on in.
NOTE: Good news if you happen to be a 20ft tall giant, you'll have no problem fitting through the front doors.
Game Time
The key to shopping at Costco is to NEVER stop your cart. It's a proven fact that shoppers moving at a slower rate will always stop/yield for those moving at a faster rate. And if they don't, the force of your faster moving cart will push them clear out of your way. The second you stop your cart for any reason, people will start crossing in front of you and moving around you in all directions like there's no tomorrow. It'll take you a solid 20 to get that cart rolling again. If this means you have to run over an old lady's foot or mow down an entire school of passing babies... so be it.
In order to keep your cart in constant motion, you may need to implement the 'sweeping arm' technique when approaching items you wish to purchase (if you can't grab it quickly). This may result in extra times falling into your cart that you didn't intend to buy. This is fine. You can always use these random items to give to kids on Halloween or to gift out to your friends on their birthdays.
The only acceptable time to bring your cart to a complete stop is if you urgently need to go to the bathroom and you can't wait until you get home or to another establishment far away from Costco. I'm talkin' prairie-dogging to the point that you may or may not already have a shit stain on your underwear. If you find yourself in this sort of predicament, forget the bathroom. Judging by the amount of traffic cruising around the store at any given time, the bathroom is probably just as abuzz with people. Plus your cart is likely to be ransacked and torn to shreds if you step away from it for more than 13 seconds. Instead, head over to one of the uncrowded aisles that no one ever goes down i.e. the baby food/baby related goods aisle... no one buys that shit.
Benefits of using the baby aisle as a bathroom:
1. Complete peace and quiet.
2. You'll never get blamed. They'll probably just think a rogue baby did it.
3. They're gonna need to pay someone to clean up after you... i.e. you're creating jobs and stimulating the economy. You should be commended for your efforts.
Free Samples
Amidst all your shopping it's important to take advantage of all the free samples Costco has to offer. I usually allot a good 15 minutes to the consumption of free food.
NOTE: Make sure you limit your time at any one free sample table. The more time you spend at one table, the more likely that worker is going to tell you that if you want more, you're gonna have to buy the product. EFF that noise. Take one or two samples at one table and then move on to another. Give other people a chance to go to the table you were just at. The idea is that when you return to the original table they will no longer remember that you were already there. When you DO decide to revisit free sample tables, come in from different angles. Maybe throw in a couple of wardrobe changes. Mix it up. Get creative. Keep them guessing.
Checking Out
Once your cart is loaded to the brim and you're all free sampled out, it's time to get the eff out. This is what my carts (yea I had two carts. STEP!) looked like when I was finished shopping.
When you head over to the check-out area there are like 20 different lines to choose from. These are the things I look for when choosing a line:
1. Line Length. Obviously the shorter the line the better.
2. Quantity of goods in people's carts. Depending on how much shit people have loaded into their cart could make a line go slower even if there are less people in the line.
3. Age of the shoppers in line. Hellz. to. the. NO. am I getting in line behind some 96 year old woman who's first gonna pull out every coupon she's ever collected since she was 15 and then decide that she doesn't actually want 7 of her items and then spend 15 minutes trying to write a check that looks like someone was having a seizure while writing it. I'd rather gauge my eyes out with a hot soldering iron.
4. The cashier/cashier's assistants (i would say bagger but they don't actually give you bags for any of your stuff). A good cashier/assistant can really make a difference in terms of line speed.
Exit
Keep your receipt handy for when you leave. They check it on the way out the door. Keep your head down during this process. It seems as though they take the cheeriest, happiest people on staff, and stick them at the back door. If Lull decided to get a job at Costco, she'd immediately be put at the back door. If you make eye contact with these people, forget it. They'll be talking to you for 10 minutes.
Once you make it out the door and to your car, it's time to STUFF.
If your car doesn't look as full, if not fuller, than it did that time you packed up all your stuff and moved across the country... go back and get more shit.
Parking
Right as you pull into the parking lot, stop your car. Recite a quick prayer...
Dear ye ol' gods of parking,
Please have mercy on my soul as I roam through your sacred pasture of pavement. Give us this day our daily parking space. Lead me not into the temptation to rear-end every car that's already claimed a spot with its blinker or to run over every cock-sucking, mother-fucking, bastard of a person who walks between the rows of cars on the way to their vehicle. Amen.
Now that that is taken care of, you may proceed. Drive at least 40mph around the 5mph speed limit parking lot. The amount of time you spend looking for a spot is inversely proportional to the speed at which you make your way through the lot. If your tires don't squeal as you round turns, you're not going fast enough.
Once you find a spot, grab one of the 2,000 shopping carts littering the parking lot and head towards the entrance.
The Pre-Game
Before you go in, you're gonna want to take some time to mentally prepare yourself for whats about to go down, cuz once you walk through those doors there's absolutely no turning back. It's just like riding a roller coaster... once the handle bars lock down and the wheels start moving, the words "Wait, I changed my mind" don't mean shit anymore.
Once your mental prep is complete, head on in.
NOTE: Good news if you happen to be a 20ft tall giant, you'll have no problem fitting through the front doors.
Game Time
The key to shopping at Costco is to NEVER stop your cart. It's a proven fact that shoppers moving at a slower rate will always stop/yield for those moving at a faster rate. And if they don't, the force of your faster moving cart will push them clear out of your way. The second you stop your cart for any reason, people will start crossing in front of you and moving around you in all directions like there's no tomorrow. It'll take you a solid 20 to get that cart rolling again. If this means you have to run over an old lady's foot or mow down an entire school of passing babies... so be it.
In order to keep your cart in constant motion, you may need to implement the 'sweeping arm' technique when approaching items you wish to purchase (if you can't grab it quickly). This may result in extra times falling into your cart that you didn't intend to buy. This is fine. You can always use these random items to give to kids on Halloween or to gift out to your friends on their birthdays.
The only acceptable time to bring your cart to a complete stop is if you urgently need to go to the bathroom and you can't wait until you get home or to another establishment far away from Costco. I'm talkin' prairie-dogging to the point that you may or may not already have a shit stain on your underwear. If you find yourself in this sort of predicament, forget the bathroom. Judging by the amount of traffic cruising around the store at any given time, the bathroom is probably just as abuzz with people. Plus your cart is likely to be ransacked and torn to shreds if you step away from it for more than 13 seconds. Instead, head over to one of the uncrowded aisles that no one ever goes down i.e. the baby food/baby related goods aisle... no one buys that shit.
Benefits of using the baby aisle as a bathroom:
1. Complete peace and quiet.
2. You'll never get blamed. They'll probably just think a rogue baby did it.
3. They're gonna need to pay someone to clean up after you... i.e. you're creating jobs and stimulating the economy. You should be commended for your efforts.
Free Samples
Amidst all your shopping it's important to take advantage of all the free samples Costco has to offer. I usually allot a good 15 minutes to the consumption of free food.
NOTE: Make sure you limit your time at any one free sample table. The more time you spend at one table, the more likely that worker is going to tell you that if you want more, you're gonna have to buy the product. EFF that noise. Take one or two samples at one table and then move on to another. Give other people a chance to go to the table you were just at. The idea is that when you return to the original table they will no longer remember that you were already there. When you DO decide to revisit free sample tables, come in from different angles. Maybe throw in a couple of wardrobe changes. Mix it up. Get creative. Keep them guessing.
Checking Out
Once your cart is loaded to the brim and you're all free sampled out, it's time to get the eff out. This is what my carts (yea I had two carts. STEP!) looked like when I was finished shopping.
When you head over to the check-out area there are like 20 different lines to choose from. These are the things I look for when choosing a line:
1. Line Length. Obviously the shorter the line the better.
2. Quantity of goods in people's carts. Depending on how much shit people have loaded into their cart could make a line go slower even if there are less people in the line.
3. Age of the shoppers in line. Hellz. to. the. NO. am I getting in line behind some 96 year old woman who's first gonna pull out every coupon she's ever collected since she was 15 and then decide that she doesn't actually want 7 of her items and then spend 15 minutes trying to write a check that looks like someone was having a seizure while writing it. I'd rather gauge my eyes out with a hot soldering iron.
4. The cashier/cashier's assistants (i would say bagger but they don't actually give you bags for any of your stuff). A good cashier/assistant can really make a difference in terms of line speed.
Exit
Keep your receipt handy for when you leave. They check it on the way out the door. Keep your head down during this process. It seems as though they take the cheeriest, happiest people on staff, and stick them at the back door. If Lull decided to get a job at Costco, she'd immediately be put at the back door. If you make eye contact with these people, forget it. They'll be talking to you for 10 minutes.
Once you make it out the door and to your car, it's time to STUFF.
If your car doesn't look as full, if not fuller, than it did that time you packed up all your stuff and moved across the country... go back and get more shit.
Monday, August 15, 2011
155. July
Since I didn't post a single entry during the month of July, figured I'd give a brief summary of what took place.
Tatenda's friend from Zimbabwe came to visit...... also named Tatenda.
'First Friday' in Venice. Pretty much just a huge block party on this one strip in Venice. Never seen so many food trucks in one place before in my life. The night followed the usual chain of events... regular bar, gay bar, food trucks, drunkenly walking down the middle of the road, hot tub, pass out.
Bree and I made it into their music video...
For those of you who don't know who The White Panda are... I want to poop in your mouth right now. If you don't go to their website (Click Here Dammit) and download ALL their music (it's free you greedy bastards), I will send a rabies infected pterodactyl to your house to rip off your face.
The big bro stopped in for a brief visit on his way to Arizona from Oregon.
I celebrated a birthday. July 7th for any of you so called 'friends' who didn't wish me a happy birthday (be careful opening your mail). The big 2-3. Happens to be the same day as Tatenda's birthday. Went to a bar, got drinks bought for me from the moment I got there til the moment I left, got hammered drunk, danced the night away... the end.
Celebrated Rob Boweman's BDay with a day at the beach. Bonfire, grilling, ocean, body surfing, and of course... massive amounts of Kan Yam. What more could you ask for.
Experienced Korean BBQ for the first time. It's similar to the melting pot in that you cook your own food right in front of you, but its not fondue. Your table basically has a grill right in the middle and they bring over a shit ton of raw meat and you just cook it up to your hearts content (aka eat until you literally can't fit another morsel of food in your stomach without puking all over the floor and the other people you're with).
That pretty much wraps up the month. I don't think I really posted anything in June either, but, honestly, I can't really remember what took place during that month. I was most likely just tripping off Acid the entire time.
Tatenda's friend from Zimbabwe came to visit...... also named Tatenda.
'First Friday' in Venice. Pretty much just a huge block party on this one strip in Venice. Never seen so many food trucks in one place before in my life. The night followed the usual chain of events... regular bar, gay bar, food trucks, drunkenly walking down the middle of the road, hot tub, pass out.
Went and saw 'The White Panda' at a club in Hollywood. Danced. Up. The. WAZZZZ
The big bro stopped in for a brief visit on his way to Arizona from Oregon.
I celebrated a birthday. July 7th for any of you so called 'friends' who didn't wish me a happy birthday (be careful opening your mail). The big 2-3. Happens to be the same day as Tatenda's birthday. Went to a bar, got drinks bought for me from the moment I got there til the moment I left, got hammered drunk, danced the night away... the end.
Celebrated Rob Boweman's BDay with a day at the beach. Bonfire, grilling, ocean, body surfing, and of course... massive amounts of Kan Yam. What more could you ask for.
Experienced Korean BBQ for the first time. It's similar to the melting pot in that you cook your own food right in front of you, but its not fondue. Your table basically has a grill right in the middle and they bring over a shit ton of raw meat and you just cook it up to your hearts content (aka eat until you literally can't fit another morsel of food in your stomach without puking all over the floor and the other people you're with).
That pretty much wraps up the month. I don't think I really posted anything in June either, but, honestly, I can't really remember what took place during that month. I was most likely just tripping off Acid the entire time.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
154. Watch the Throne
Kanye West and Jay Z's new album, 'Watch The Throne', is sick. If you haven't heard it, check it out...
Also, on a somewhat related (but mostly unrelated) note, here's a great cover of Kanye West's 'Heartless' by the Fray (and one of my favorite music videos)...
You can download it HERE. (I think)
Also, on a somewhat related (but mostly unrelated) note, here's a great cover of Kanye West's 'Heartless' by the Fray (and one of my favorite music videos)...
153. Dubstep
First and foremost, check out the new playlist with all new music over HURR ------------------------------------>
At first I hated Dubstep. Thought it was literally the worst sound that ever drifted into my ear holes and down into my brain machine. I honestly thought Dubstep sounded like R2D2 being raped by that scary basement heater-monster in Home Alone. What is Dubstep, you ask? Maybe Dom Mazzetti can answer that for you...
Lately it's been growing on me. Maybe people are just getting better at integrating it into other kinds of music. Here are some examples...
Get Em High - Talib Kweli (Big Gigantic Remix)
I'm On One ft. Lil Wayne & Drake - DJ Khaled (Styles & Complete Remix)
At first I hated Dubstep. Thought it was literally the worst sound that ever drifted into my ear holes and down into my brain machine. I honestly thought Dubstep sounded like R2D2 being raped by that scary basement heater-monster in Home Alone. What is Dubstep, you ask? Maybe Dom Mazzetti can answer that for you...
Lately it's been growing on me. Maybe people are just getting better at integrating it into other kinds of music. Here are some examples...
Get Em High - Talib Kweli (Big Gigantic Remix)
I'm On One ft. Lil Wayne & Drake - DJ Khaled (Styles & Complete Remix)
152. Oh hey... long time no see...
Kinda got outa the whole blogging thing for a while. What can I say... guess I've just been THAT busy (cough cough). OK... I've been slacking. Gimme a damn break... jeez.
These past two weeks have been a little bit... ummm... hectic.
Where oh where shall I begin...
Monday 8/1:
Got a speeding ticket on my way to work. Been speeding the entire time I've been in La... well actually... I've pretty much been speeding since I got my drivers license. But it finally caught up to me. Four lane road (2 lanes each direction), speed limit SHOULD be 45 (in my humble and completely honest opinion), but oh its 35.... and I was doing 52... kbye.
Thursday 8/4:
Driving to work once again. Due to traffic, I take the local roads half the way to work and then I jump on the highway for the second half. But shortly after I get on the highway, traffic always seems to slow down to a snail's pace. So... I usually (aka every single morning) jump in the carpool lane (illegally *cough cough) and cruise past all the traffic. Wellll... on this particular morning... as i'm driving illegally in the carpool lane... I happen to look in my review mirror and see what appears to be a motorcycle cop in the distance behind me. I'm like RUH ROH, I SHOULD PROBZ GET MY ASS OUTA THIS LANE IMMEDES. I look to try and get out of the carpool lane... but just my luck... before I can get out, the dotted white line changes to a double yellow line. Meanwhile, what I thought MIGHT be a motorcycle cop, turns out to be exactly that and catches up to me. And now I'm like OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Obviously I'm not about to cross the double yellow line to get out of the carpool lane DIRECTLY in front of a cop. So now I'm driving down the carpool lane SHITTING my pants, praying to god that he doesn't pull me over and give me my second ticket in three days. Did I mention that the fine for violating the carpool lane rule is $341? Yea... there's a sign that mentions it about every 100 ft. And now I'm thinking FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, FRONTWAYS, UPSIDE DOWN AND OVER BACKWARDS... HERE COMES MY SECOND TICKET. But somehow... by some MIRACLE of God... he doesn't pull me over, and right as the double yellow line FINALLY changes back to a dotted white line, I switch over 3 lanes in about half a second, and the cop flies by. Almost had a heart attack... but crises diverted.
Friday 8/5:
My grandma has had Alzheimer's and has been slowly declining over the past year or so. I saw her in February and she wasn't looking so hot. I get an email from my dad after work on Friday that basically said she had stopped eating and drinking, she would no longer wake up, and the outlook was looking grim. Even though I knew when I had last seen her that, realistically, it couldn't be too much longer til this happened, it still wasn't quite prepared to read this email.
Saturday 8/6
I get a call from my mom telling me that she had received a letter from the city of Los Angeles... I had received a ticket for going through a red light. Like REALLY? The ticket had my picture on it and everything...
I still don't believe it was me. It doesn't even look like me.... except for the face, and the hair, and the glasses, and I think I might have that exact same shirt. Also, that person is definitely eating McDonalds and anyone who knows me knows that I NEVER eat McDonalds... except for on Tuesdays and Saturdays... and Thursdays....... and occasionally on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. So clearly it couldn't have been me. The fine you ask? Oh only a mere $480. You gotta be kidding me...
Sunday 8/7:
I do some research and find out that Los Angeles had recently ended their Red Light Camera Ticket program. You may still receive a ticket in the mail but you no longer have to pay the fine. Praise God, Allah, Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Mr. Rodgers, and everyone else people pray to.
Later that day I get a call from my dad that my grandmother had passed away.
That night I book a round trip ticket from LA to Florida leaving Monday night and returning the following Saturday.
Monday 8/8
I leave work and head to meet my roomate so he can drive me to the Airport. On my way, a guy changes lanes in front of me, so I decide to switch into the lane he just came from. I accidentally swipe the back left corner of his car with the right side of my car.
What scratches?
I've never gotten in an accident or ever hit anyone else's car with my own. So of course I do it this week, after already getting one ticket (almost 3), when on my way to the airport for my grandmothers funeral... couldn't have been better timing. We exchange information and I continue on my way.
Monday Night/Tuesday 8/9:
I take a 10:20pm flight out of LAX and arrive in Las Vegas around 11:30pm Pacific Time. Leave Vegas around 1am Pacific Time and arrive in Charlotte, NC around 8am Eastern Time. Leave Charlotte around 9:30am Eastern and after 12+ hrs of traveling (after leaving work) and about 3.5 hrs of sleep later I finally arrive in West Palm Beach, FL at 11am.
Met up with the fam. Good to see everyone after being in LA for the past couple months.
Passed out around 10:30pm and slept for a solid 12 hours.
Wednesday 8/10
Funeral Day. Pretty much sucked. Most badass funeral procession ever though. My grandfather has done a buttload of fundraising for his local fire department over the past several years (somewhere between $35,000 & $50,000 worth of equipment etc.). Anyway, the fire department was out in full force at the funeral. After the funeral they led the funeral procession with their two huge fire trucks, flashing lights ablaze.
Funny sign I saw at the cemetery:
After the funeral we all went back to my grandfather's condo where there was an absolute plethora of food to feast on. Actually, that seemed to be the theme of the entire week. Bagels, veggie platters, lox and cream cheese platters, egg salad, chicken salad, potato salad, pasta salad, cucumber salad, cold cut platters, roast chicken, chicken marsala, pot roast, herring, cookies and cake platters galore... it goes on and on. Couldn't have eaten all that food if I was there for another week.
Saturday 8/13:
Left West Palm at 12pm. Landed in Charlotte at 1:30pm. Left Charlotte at 4:30pm. Plane was jam packed... except for my row. Don't know how it happened but I got a 3 seat row all to myself. The woman in the row behind me was definitely eying my seats but oh as soon as we took off I laid down across all 3 seats so as no one could steal them away MUAHAHA. Couldn't catch me sharing my bounty of seats. Got back to LA around 6:40pm Pacific Time.
Not the best two weeks I've ever had. Glad they're over.
These past two weeks have been a little bit... ummm... hectic.
Where oh where shall I begin...
Monday 8/1:
Got a speeding ticket on my way to work. Been speeding the entire time I've been in La... well actually... I've pretty much been speeding since I got my drivers license. But it finally caught up to me. Four lane road (2 lanes each direction), speed limit SHOULD be 45 (in my humble and completely honest opinion), but oh its 35.... and I was doing 52... kbye.
Thursday 8/4:
Driving to work once again. Due to traffic, I take the local roads half the way to work and then I jump on the highway for the second half. But shortly after I get on the highway, traffic always seems to slow down to a snail's pace. So... I usually (aka every single morning) jump in the carpool lane (illegally *cough cough) and cruise past all the traffic. Wellll... on this particular morning... as i'm driving illegally in the carpool lane... I happen to look in my review mirror and see what appears to be a motorcycle cop in the distance behind me. I'm like RUH ROH, I SHOULD PROBZ GET MY ASS OUTA THIS LANE IMMEDES. I look to try and get out of the carpool lane... but just my luck... before I can get out, the dotted white line changes to a double yellow line. Meanwhile, what I thought MIGHT be a motorcycle cop, turns out to be exactly that and catches up to me. And now I'm like OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Obviously I'm not about to cross the double yellow line to get out of the carpool lane DIRECTLY in front of a cop. So now I'm driving down the carpool lane SHITTING my pants, praying to god that he doesn't pull me over and give me my second ticket in three days. Did I mention that the fine for violating the carpool lane rule is $341? Yea... there's a sign that mentions it about every 100 ft. And now I'm thinking FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, FRONTWAYS, UPSIDE DOWN AND OVER BACKWARDS... HERE COMES MY SECOND TICKET. But somehow... by some MIRACLE of God... he doesn't pull me over, and right as the double yellow line FINALLY changes back to a dotted white line, I switch over 3 lanes in about half a second, and the cop flies by. Almost had a heart attack... but crises diverted.
Friday 8/5:
My grandma has had Alzheimer's and has been slowly declining over the past year or so. I saw her in February and she wasn't looking so hot. I get an email from my dad after work on Friday that basically said she had stopped eating and drinking, she would no longer wake up, and the outlook was looking grim. Even though I knew when I had last seen her that, realistically, it couldn't be too much longer til this happened, it still wasn't quite prepared to read this email.
Saturday 8/6
I get a call from my mom telling me that she had received a letter from the city of Los Angeles... I had received a ticket for going through a red light. Like REALLY? The ticket had my picture on it and everything...
Sunday 8/7:
I do some research and find out that Los Angeles had recently ended their Red Light Camera Ticket program. You may still receive a ticket in the mail but you no longer have to pay the fine. Praise God, Allah, Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Mr. Rodgers, and everyone else people pray to.
Later that day I get a call from my dad that my grandmother had passed away.
That night I book a round trip ticket from LA to Florida leaving Monday night and returning the following Saturday.
Monday 8/8
I leave work and head to meet my roomate so he can drive me to the Airport. On my way, a guy changes lanes in front of me, so I decide to switch into the lane he just came from. I accidentally swipe the back left corner of his car with the right side of my car.
I've never gotten in an accident or ever hit anyone else's car with my own. So of course I do it this week, after already getting one ticket (almost 3), when on my way to the airport for my grandmothers funeral... couldn't have been better timing. We exchange information and I continue on my way.
Monday Night/Tuesday 8/9:
I take a 10:20pm flight out of LAX and arrive in Las Vegas around 11:30pm Pacific Time. Leave Vegas around 1am Pacific Time and arrive in Charlotte, NC around 8am Eastern Time. Leave Charlotte around 9:30am Eastern and after 12+ hrs of traveling (after leaving work) and about 3.5 hrs of sleep later I finally arrive in West Palm Beach, FL at 11am.
Met up with the fam. Good to see everyone after being in LA for the past couple months.
Passed out around 10:30pm and slept for a solid 12 hours.
Wednesday 8/10
Funeral Day. Pretty much sucked. Most badass funeral procession ever though. My grandfather has done a buttload of fundraising for his local fire department over the past several years (somewhere between $35,000 & $50,000 worth of equipment etc.). Anyway, the fire department was out in full force at the funeral. After the funeral they led the funeral procession with their two huge fire trucks, flashing lights ablaze.
Funny sign I saw at the cemetery:
After the funeral we all went back to my grandfather's condo where there was an absolute plethora of food to feast on. Actually, that seemed to be the theme of the entire week. Bagels, veggie platters, lox and cream cheese platters, egg salad, chicken salad, potato salad, pasta salad, cucumber salad, cold cut platters, roast chicken, chicken marsala, pot roast, herring, cookies and cake platters galore... it goes on and on. Couldn't have eaten all that food if I was there for another week.
Saturday 8/13:
Left West Palm at 12pm. Landed in Charlotte at 1:30pm. Left Charlotte at 4:30pm. Plane was jam packed... except for my row. Don't know how it happened but I got a 3 seat row all to myself. The woman in the row behind me was definitely eying my seats but oh as soon as we took off I laid down across all 3 seats so as no one could steal them away MUAHAHA. Couldn't catch me sharing my bounty of seats. Got back to LA around 6:40pm Pacific Time.
Not the best two weeks I've ever had. Glad they're over.
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