137. Are We There Yet April

"Are We There Yet April" has officially come to a close. Here's a quick recap of everything that's gone down this month...


April 1-3: Fairfield/New Haven, Connecticut
Travelers: The Lord, Myself
See 'Team Road Trip Heads to CT'.
-America's best dance crew... aka the Flannel Friday'ers
-Drinking and Kan Yam on the beach all day. Dead-bird hand.
-Epic beer pong run.
-Tour of New Haven's various hoods with Nick 'Sticky-Dick' Neuman.


April 8-10: Ithaca, NY
Travelers: The Lord, Spreenwich, Meg, Myself
-Spreenwiches on the ride up.
-Happy hour w/ the South Albany crew.
-Out to some random party with the Lord. Felt WAY to old to be there.
-Soccer Girls house. Tom wandered off... the ushe. Scheff and I made a late-night trip to Taco Bell.
-The Lord and I make a trip up to campus. He drops $650 in the bookstore.
-Soccer Girls house to day-drink. Kan Jam up the WAZZ.
-Glenwood Pines Challenge (4 quarter pound cheeseburgers on THICK French bread). Me vs. Scheff. About ten other people at the table with us... not one of them rooting for me to finish the challenge. Scheff finishes the challenge. I make it abou 3/4 through. Full as a snail.
-Later that night I decided to go to da bahhhhhs. Dancing was not easy with that full of a stomach. Eventually I thought I had it under control and started jumping around a little more. I was wrong. Entire pinewood challenge was about to come up. two options... run for the bathroom, or run for the front door. I turn and look at the completely packed bar. front door was closer. I start making my way to the door as fast as I can, pushing people out of the way as I go. I didn't think I was gonna make it. Barely got out the door in time, took one step to the side, and let it rip.... right next to two officers of the law.  Luckily, they were thoroughly amused by the whole thing and I didn't get in any trouble.
-Walked back to South Albany, removed all my puke clothes, washed them in the sink, took a show-show, brushed the teeth, and headed back out to meet everyone at Ameritalia. That's called a recovery.
-Next Day, Weggo's Subs... and a wrap (couldn't catch me).
-Grenade whistle battle across South Albany.
-Back to Jerz.

April 15-17: Penn State University
Travelers: The Lord, Scheff, Prince Vince, Kathleen, Myself
-Pick up the Lord. Load up the car w/ about 400lbs of alc. Fly down rt 80 at a STEADY 90mph.
-Power hour at Glo's.
-To da bahhhs. Stand in line for an hour. Finally get in. The Lord dishes out his digits to a biddy... via BUSINESS CARD.
-Blue and White Game. Tailgating in the rain. Wizard sticks. Kan Jam on a hill. Scheff throws up an absolutely atroshe frisbee toss... headed straight towards me... I try and move out of the way... I hit a patch of mud and catch air... BOOM... my ass hits the ground HARD........ can't breathe.
-Go back to Glo's. Show-shows and naps. Continue drinking. Dumb and Dumber on tv. WINGS. Tom's wizard stick almost reaches the ceiling. Friend porn.
-Sunday. Mozzarella stick grilled cheese sangwiches from Dennys... after about an hour wait. Scrounge up all our shit. Back to the Jerz.


April 21 - MoTown/Chester, NJ
Travelers: Spreenwich, Goody, Liam, Myself
-Met up w/ Spreenwich in Motown for a happy hour sesh. Free wings. Free pasta. WHATTTUP.
-Over to Chester. Hot tub chillin w/ Tot, Jeff, and Liam. Nothing sexier than 4 guys in a hot tub... honestly... I can't think of a single thing.


April 23-24: NYC
Travelers: Alex, Polly G, Big Mike, Maggie Bailey, Shceff, Platt, Myself
-Met up with the Glowtaz's
-Game time sub-in for Maggie for the dinner cruise around manhattan.
-Great dinner, great view... disaronno on the rocks... out of flasks.... next level drinking manouver. SMART.
-To da bahhhs. Practiced the ancient art of Kahr-Ayo-Kay
-Met some Australian chicks. Decided to test out my Australian accent... so I told them I was also from Australia and literally talked to them w/ an 'Australian' accent the entire time. One of them said I sounded like I was from America. I told her I had been living here for ten years and that the American accent was rubbing off on you. Don't even TRY to tell me that shit aint SMOOTH.


April 27: MoTown, NJ
Travelers: Tot, the Lord, the Chad, Myself
-Met up for drinks for the Chad's last night on the East Coast.
-Live band at Sona 13 was stellar.
-Guitar girl at (whatever the second bar was) was a gem.
-We all went back to my dad's house and had an orgy.


April 30: Hoboken, NJ
Travelers: Tot, The Lord, Nick 'Sticky-Dick' Neuman, Myself
-Took forevs to get there. Never driving to Hoboken again. NJ Tranzz 4 LIFE!
-Hit up the Ith Lax Game. Saw some Ith Lax alum (Powers, Heckman, Reiter, Lohan).
-Watched Ithaca lose terribly. That team has gone steadily downhill since Glowatz's departure in '08.
-Hobo sangwiches.


That pretty much concludes 'Are We There Yet April'. Of course there were a couple Free-Movie Tuesdays, one or two golf outings, and at least one Wendy's trip mixed in there. All-in-all a solid month. My last full month here in the Dirty.


Next week... on to La La Land.