4. TGIF.... This Gig Is Fuhcocked

It's Friday. Only one last day of work before the WEEKEND. Since I just got into work and I don't feel like actually doing anything productive, I figured I'd give you a little glimpse into my "job".

Today is Casual Friday. For the majority of guys here I think that means a pair of khaki pants and a polo shirt. For me... a pair of torn/patched up jeans and my Cuttyhunk longsleeve t-shirt...

that's the one.


This is my office...

OK fine its a cubicle. No need to be a dick about it.

I work at the headquarters for a chemical manufacturing company. They basically make a lot of the chemicals that go into disinfectants and pool cleaners and other things of that ilk. I have two jobs here. My main job is to package/ship any chemicals that need to be sent out through the mail. Since most of the chemicals that come through here are hazardous (aka they will burn your eyes out if you even look at them) there's about a million different regulations and rules that must be followed in order to package and ship them properly and safely. But shipments only need to be sent out a couple of times a week, which leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. Hence why I have this cubicle.

When I'm not shipping dangerous shit, I'm working with the regulatory department updating databases upon databases with info and such on the butt-loads of chemicals that the company deals with. On the left of my desk you can see papers stacked high. I can't even count the amount of times I have had to go through those stacks of papers. Each page of that stack represents a different chemical. Every time I go through that stack I have to update one tiny piece of information pertaining to that chemical in the database on the computer. You would think they'd give me everything I have to change about each one all at once so that I wouldn't have to keep going through the giant stack... but no.

As you can see I have a desktop computer that I do all those work related things on. I also bring my laptop with me so that I can leave gmail and facebook open at all times for when I don't feel like doing work (which is about every other minute). Like right now for instance... I am talking to one friend on gchat, my brother on facebook chat and I am writing this blog. A lot of 'work' is clearly getting done.


Let me give you a little play of how a typical day goes for me here...

I only work part-time so I usually get here after everyone else gets in. I quietly walk to my desk, taking the long way around some other cubicles so that I don't have to pass my bosses' cubes. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Not because they'd give me stuff to do, but because they're both kinda weird.

I get to my desk and turn my work computer on. While I'm waiting for that to load up I set up my laptop and open up gmail and facebook (my go-to's). Once my work computer is up and running I open Microsoft Outlook to check my email. While that's opening I literally sit here PRAYING that I didn't get any emails (cuz that would mean i'd actually have to do work). Once i'm in the clear with that I usually go back to my laptop and slack off for the first 40 min or so of work.

Finally when i'm ready to actually do something I open up my work on my work computer. Right now I'm in the middle of doing all these training modules about packaging and shipping these chemicals properly (which they failed to have me do when I first started working at this company over 3 months ago). These modules are literally the MOST boring things in the world. Just pages upon pages upon pages upon pages of info followed by a 10 question test at the end. Here's a sample question for ya...

In an accident involving a truck bearing a modified poison placard containing the number 1670, which orange bordered guide page should be referenced?
a. 151
b. 157
c. 154
d. 111

like really? Why would I ever want to know the answer to that.

That's why I often resort to methods of distraction. Sometimes it comes in the form of yahoo pool...

I go back and forth between actual work and slacking off pretty much all day until it's time to leave, at which point I try to sneak out without talking to anyone again.

Basically I try to do as little work as possible and not talk to anyone while doing it. As you can see I don't really enjoy my job. I don't find it in any way interesting or likable. But I get paid... so it'll do for now. I guess I've slacked off long enough writing this post. Time to get back to it...